Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
