Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
