I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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