Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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