Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Too much gin, very little bucket
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize