I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
