HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
