i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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