In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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