It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize