what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
