Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize