how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
