my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
