i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
