My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
