I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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