Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I came so hard my ears popped.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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