I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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