She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
