are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
