also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
