i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
