i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I will pee on everything he values.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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