I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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