Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
