Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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