Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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