He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
