The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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