They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
