so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
40s are totally the cure
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
