i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
