Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the condom got lost in my hair
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
