tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
