I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
