carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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