9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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