omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
