Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
