I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Less talking, more tequila
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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