finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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