I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
