I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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