no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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