It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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