Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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