Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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