yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
