I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
