i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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